Video: Winter Dipping With Katharine Montstream and the Red Hot Chilly Dippers, 2. This is a touchy subject, and you don't want to make your girlfriend feel like she is being disrespected. For instance, you might discover that your girlfriend has had far more lovers in the past than you. Everyone is unique. As long as they act classy.” She can't look you in the eyes. Her past doesn't change who she has become today. We're both 18 and I care about her ALOT, and I know she feels the same. You want to be able to feel like you matter to her, and learning that you're one of many might harm that perception. “To me it doesn’t matter. I found out that my girl has slept with over 20 guys. post your service, apartments Unless she has given you a reason to think that she will stray from you, it's going to be appropriate to assume that she is the same loyal girlfriend that you have always known. The best way to figure out if your girlfriend has slept with someone else is to ask. It tends to come up in conversation when you start talking about the physical intimacy in your relationship with each other one on one, especially if you are preparing to have sex with each other for the first time or are starting to explore new things. I really care about her but I'm not sure I could ever feel comfortable with this. We’ll check it out and report the results. She has likely matured, and hopefully, you can be mature enough to move forward with her. So my girlfriend and I broke up broke a while ago, and I was just told by her that she has been sleeping with other guys. If someone told you that your girlfriend is sleeping with someone else, be upfront, and bring it up. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. It's also true that her having many lovers in the past doesn't necessarily indicate that she is picky about sex. What does it mean when a guy asks how many guys you slept with? What seems like a large number to some people might appear to be perfectly normal to others. My girlfriend is 30, and has been single since she was 21 (barring a few very brief relationships). 6 Fitness Motivation Tips To Start You On Your Fitness Journey. If you're on dating apps to find a long term partner, someone who starts off on this foot might not be the way to go. If you're into someone, it's easy to get jealous at the thought of anyone else taking your place. home/garden Right now you're judging your girlfriend based on her past actions, which until now have not affected your view of her personality or character. I’ve recently discovered she’s slept with more people than I have. Many people make life choices when they are young that don't match up with how they feel as they get older. She was into drugs badly at one point and over all besides me. In all likelihood, everything is fine if you have never noticed any problems. Scrag Mountain Musician Evan Premo Offers Series on “Deep Listening”, 7. Three Wintry Ways to Get Outside in Vermont, 3. My ex girlfriend sleeping with other guys? Some people are more open about talking about their past relationships than others. If you really wana know how many guys she has been with, ask her why one more time.. and explain to her why you want to know. WTF: Why Is the Old Pizza Hut in South Burlington Still Empty? I Have a Crush on My Best Friend's Little Sister. Answering these questions isn't possible unless you discuss things with your girlfriend. If she is your girlfriend, she likes you, but if you have any concerns related to sex or your relationship, it's important that you bring them up to your girlfriend. Why am I jealous of my girlfriend's exes? What do I do? Exploring a little bit and being willing to learn can make you a better lover. It's just she got out of a 3 years relationship and it kinda messed her up and she whored out for a bit. I ’ve been with my girlfriend nearly six months. This really bothers me and disgusts me. If your concerns are related to her sexual history and everything in her past has been safe and consensual, the short answer is no. of 2. She might have just been a little more sexually liberated in the past, or she could have even had a problem with sex addiction. WTF: How Do You Help a Rescued Hummingbird in Winter? post your listing. I’ve actually been in a a situation very very similar just recently! Oftentimes, a person will open up about their previous sexual experience to their current partner voluntarily. Having many lovers in the past doesn't make someone a bad person. So Why Did My Guy Dump Me? Can you really say "my girlfriend slept with too many guys in the past" if she has only had twenty lovers? If her number of lovers is particularly high, then you might even wonder whether she will want to move on from you eventually. Sometimes, a partner will also ask this question out of curiosity alone. It's definitely not small talk, but conversations around sex and sexual health don't need to be as intimidating as they may seem. With your partner, you should feel comfortable and assured that you aren't being judged. When it comes to a person's sexual history, the amount of sexual partners they've had doesn't matter. Trust is an extremely important part of a relationship, so if you intend to have a long-term relationship or move forward, it is vital that you work through this either on your own or with the help of a mental health provider. If you're dating someone, you've moved past the point of talking on dating apps or being in the friend zone. If you aren't coupled but are on dating apps and someone asks how many guys you've slept with as their opening line, they're likely asking because they're using dating apps to hook up. You could get yourself tested to put your mind at ease as well. Since 2014, Seven Days has allowed readers to comment on all stories posted on our website. AskMen Reader. Especially if you have no other issues in your relationship but are interested in sexual exploration or have issues pertaining to sex to work through, seeing a sex therapist may be the best option. Read on to examine this topic from different angles so that you can come to your conclusion. To criticize, correct or praise our reporting, please send us a letter to the editor. Being sexually experienced doesn't mean that someone's not trustworthy, and it is not a reason to worry for any purpose. is that an abnormally high number? I don’t think women should be put down just because of their sexual preferences. for sale by owner Girl told me she's slept with 15 people Girls, how many guys have you slept with ? You can never be too safe, even if you've only had one or two sex partners. I had asked my girlfriend her number before and she always said I was number 9 which I thought was pretty high. My gf has had 32 partners before me, including a 3-some with two guys she was having sex with alternately every other day, been with another girl, has had about 5 1 night stands and all that. You might be worried at first and will then come to realize that she is the same girl that you fell in love with. When it comes to sex people need to know if you are sleeping with someone outside of the relationship for more reasons than trust alone. Hearing that she has slept with many guys in the past might put you off a bit. 1-2 5. How Can You Tell if a Girl Has Slept with a lot of Guys? Can people let me know if this number is too many? The biggest problem with learning about your girlfriend's sexual past is that it can make you feel less special. Do all guys sleep around judgment of ex-boyfriend toward my sexual past/purity I hardly care, I'm more concerned about a girl who really only has been with 3 guys as opposed to a girl that's been with 15+ guys. I would estimate that she slept with 50 or more men before we met and it still makes me sick to the stomach to think about it. I thought it was just the alcohol talking but I asked her about it the next morning and she confirmed that it was true. I've been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years, and neither of us knows how many partners the other has slept with. Assuming she has been having sex since she was 16, she’s slept with 3 men per year. 4. Should this matter to you? Including some unprotected sex, one with a stranger in an alley outside a club. What should you do if you learn about your girlfriend's sexual history and find out that certain things make you uncomfortable? All content In other cases, such as those where you notice that something's off but aren't quite sure what it is, an open conversation is your best bet. If there's open communication and trust, you have a strong foundation to make this a healthy partnership. Thanks This is a great way to work through issues that are keeping you from gelling as a couple. If she's cheated using dating apps or has cheated by other means in prior relationships, trust may be a concern, especially if the incident was recent or if she is treating it like it's no big deal. Early on in our relationship she said she’d had a few partners before me. You may have fear based thoughts if you have your own personal insecurities or if there's a disparity between your sexual experience and hers. Are you holding your woman to an outdated, sexist standard? Long story short. Da Capo Publishing, Inc. The average number of significant others a person has had when they meet you will depend on a variety of factors, including their age, their life circumstances, and when they started dating or dating seriously. I'd rather not be dating a girl that's been with a lot of guys … The other night she revealed to me that I'm actually number 17, I was shocked. Even so, she chose to be with you for a reason, and her sexual escapades are not an indication that she will be disloyal or that she can't be a good girlfriend to you. Dear Athena, My girlfriend and I just moved in together and I have been really happy in this relationship. It is crucial to be honest with your partner. Whether you see someone online through a website at ReGain or speak to someone in your local area, you can get the support you need. 15 Things A Guy's Friends Know About A Girl After He's Slept With Her. Thanks for reading. If your concern with your girlfriend's past is related to something else, such as infidelity, that's a different story. Richard Lee (“Seth”) Towle Schneehagen III, 1990-2021, Lt. Col. Harvey L. Ottinger (Ret. This site requires anonymous cookies and third party services to function properly. And I know it sucks, it does, really, really suck. What Do I Do? Not Sure What To Do About Your Girlfriend's Past? That said, be careful with how you ask. If you're wondering if a current partner can tell if you've slept with people prior to the relationship, the short answer is no. "It matters for me, personally. Either way, your relationship with her is unique, and your sexual connection is different from other experiences that she has had in the past. Her number of past lovers doesn't suddenly change her character. What is the average number of girlfriends a guy has? You can opt-out at any time. The same is true for if you find a tangible item, like someone else's clothes, that leaves you wondering. Maybe, you noticed that she's been on dating apps, or your friend came across her profile on dating apps. Why Is It Such a Big Deal If I Leave My Socks On During Sex? I was floored. If infidelity is a new path for your girlfriend, chances are, she … They can discuss the things that are bothering you, and you can address your feelings in a safe way. homes for sale Now that she's in a relationship with you, you have likely talked about your relationship and understand what each other's expectations are in terms of monogamy or non-monogamy. By Dan Scotti. She is in her early 20's. Respect yourself ladies, and men will respect you. Relationship Counseling Can Make A Difference. Before you give up on your relationship, it might be a good idea to consider online relationship counseling. Interdisciplinary Artists Create Volume Two of Art Mag 'Caddisfly Project', 1. Whether or not he can tell, you must be upfront with him and do what you need to do to amend the issue. How many is too many? It's essential that your girlfriend feels accepted by you. There's no harm in talking about how many sexual partners you've had or what you've tried or have yet to try if you are thinking of being intimate with one another. Some of the guys I spoke with expressed anxiety about dating someone who has had too few partners. Just try not to overreact to hearing that your girlfriend slept with many guys in the past. How do you tell if she has slept with someone else?
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